Kindness is Good for Everyone

Perhaps you’ve noticed that rudeness is on the rise.  Road rage, impatience, lack of consideration – often these come from lives that are too rushed or too self-centered.  Obviously, these actions are not good for people who receive them, but did you realize that the person FEELING and DOING these things is even worse off?  After all, if someone is unkind to me, I can walk away and resume my happy life.  But, the scrooge is stuck with himself and his feelings, and will certainly suffer more than anyone around him. 

So, what are the benefits of being kind, and how does an unkind person find a better life?  Studies have shown that kind and optimistic people have more positive relationships with others; are better able to cope with problems; have less stress and are therefore less prone to illnesses (from the common cold to heart disease); and, ultimately, live longer than pessimists.  People who have a positive outlook and are satisfied with their life also have less physical and social limitations due to pain; have more energy; feel more peaceful, happier, and calmer.  Psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky makes the following connection between kindness and a positive attitude: “people who commit kind acts feel generous, optimistic and cooperative, and they look at others more charitably”.  Practicing kindness toward others will make you feel better about yourself, and will benefit you in both business and personal relationships.  It increases the “feel good” chemicals in the brain, lifting your mood and energizing your brain and body.

Kindness can be practiced and learned, just like any other skill.  You can begin by focusing on the positive and on people’s good qualities instead of focusing on the negative and people’s faults.  My daughter used to say that “you see what you WANT to see”, so start looking for good things around you, and being thankful for them.  Replace the three Cs: Complain, Condemn, and Criticize: with the three As: Accept, Acknowledge, and Appreciate”. 

Here are some other “kindness skills” to practice:

• Smile more often – it relieves stress, releases endorphins, and makes the people around you feel good
• Think of ways to do something nice for someone else
• Notice other people’s acts of kindness and be gracious when someone is kind to you
• Offer help before others ask for it
• Volunteer in your community or make a charitable donation
• Leave a larger-than-usual tip
• Let someone cut in front of you in line
• Shovel snow from your neighbor’s sidewalk, carry groceries for an elderly person, or offer your bus seat to a pregnant women.
• Teach your children kindness by example
• Buy a soda for the car behind you at a restaurant drive-through
• Keep a pocketful of wrapped hard candies to offer to children you know
• Open the door for the person behind you

As you can see, the possibilities are endless.  It all starts with practicing a more positive outlook every day.  Soon, you’ll enjoy life much more, and so will the people around you!  Our lives are short and how we live our days is, of course, how we live our lives.  We each have the power to make each day joyful or unhappy.  What is your choice, and how are you making it happen?

(includes information from AAHPERD newsletter, November/December 2008)